Are you still on the same page?

Shared Goals in Retirement

by Norma Jackson Goldman

Surprisingly, the Bible is entirely silent on the subject of retirement, except as it applied to Levites. Most Bible accounts of great leaders however, involve tremendous achievements late in life. Moses is a prime example. Though he had a miraculous childhood, his greatest work for God came after age 80! But the place he began is the same place you and I must begin, by asking, “What is God’s plan for me? How would He want me to use my gifts, time, and energy during the years ahead?”

Whoever said failing to plan is planning to fail was absolutely right. The most frightening yet common approaches to retirement is simply to drift. The goal is to stop working, stop getting up early, and stop doing all the things associated with work or career. Without a plan to start something, it is clear that confusion and chaos will follow. Where is God in this approach?

Elsie and Ben were exactly in this situation when he retired. Ben was a successful contractor who had spent his entire work life building houses and commercial buildings. He was really good at his work but in his mind (never conveyed to Elsie), he felt he would be happiest spending time with her. For the first few weeks, Elsie went along. Every day Ben would ask, “What are we going to do today?” They would plan some small adventure or outing. But as the days wore on,

Elsie longed to return to routine, to the activities she found fulfilling. One day, in response to “What are we going to do today?” she announced, “I don’t know what you’re going to do, but I’m going to sew.” Dumbfounded and hurt, Ben was forced to work out his own plans and negotiate with Elsie what activities they could do together.

Failing to Communicate: Adjust Plans

A second couple, Robert and Sandy, entered retirement with what he thought was a shared goal of packing up their travel trailer and seeing the world. They would explore other places to live—away from the oppressive heat, traffic congestion, and high living expenses in their city. Early in their marriage, these were shared dreams. Both were working hard, raising a family, and planning for the future.

With great joy, they welcomed grandchildren into the family. For Sandy, everything changed. She no longer wanted to travel, and she couldn’t imagine relocating far from her grandchildren. But she failed to communicate this change of heart to Robert, and he failed to ask. Imagine his surprise and deep disappointment when, in the first year of retirement, Sandy refused to travel, refused even to consider relocating.

The Priority of Marriage

The union of two people in Christian marriage assumes that plans and goals are shared and compatible with individual aspirations. Achieving the direction and balance that pleases God requires constant communication with each other and with Him. The result is joy and productivity for both partners.

Rick and Betty have such a story. A graphic artist by trade, Rick was known for using vacation days to go on mission trips. On one special mission trip, he met Betty and recognized her as the life partner he’d prayed for. They worked through the legal processes, were married and Betty came to live in America. In retirement, Rick discovered that the mission field had come to them.

Within a few miles of their home, they now minister to several language groups, helping them understand American culture, assisting them with buying and selling, and repairing used bicycles to help with their transportation needs. Rick and Betty’s shared goals strengthen their marriage, honor God, and bless others.

Today is a good time to do your own reality check. Are you and your spouse on the same page?

About the Writer: Former magazine editor Norma J. Goldman enjoys a successful freelance career in her retirement. The award-winning writer lives near Nashville, TN. Learn more about retirement options at www.boardofretirement.com.