When my pastor announced this year’s Mother’s Day breakfast, he informed us there were “no mothers allowed in the kitchen!” that Sunday.
“Come and be served,” he said, smiling warmly at the mothers in our congregation.
“No mothers?” I thought, with a bittersweet smile. “Well, that doesn’t include me.”
Because my church is small and consists mainly of senior citizens, I approached my pastor after church and volunteered to help serve the breakfast. I had to be there early for worship team practice anyway, so showing up half an hour earlier would do me no harm.
The following Sunday, I arrived at 8:45 a.m. as promised to serve eggs and toast to mothers and grandmothers who relished the opportunity to let someone else wash the dishes for a change.
When I finally sat down to eat with the lovely ladies of my church, only one other girl at the table was like me, neither a wife nor a mother. As the group chatted over homemade pancakes and glasses of orange juice, I felt a mix of emotions stirring in my chest.
I didn’t begrudge these women for having something I didn’t. I loved them for becoming spiritual aunts and grandmothers to me. Nor did I delude myself by thinking their lives were somehow better than mine because they changed their last names. Nevertheless, a nagging question niggled in the back of my mind: will I ever join the ranks of these wives and mothers, or has God determined I am better off remaining single?
The question did not keep me from enjoying breakfast, nor did it overshadow the rest of my day. I love my little church, and I find tremendous joy in serving there every Sunday. Still, I had to fight back tears during the morning sermon as I imagined what it would feel like to hold a child in my lap. My heart ached for a son or daughter to call my own as I wrestled with the discrepancy between the life I envisioned and the one I’m currently living.
What Is a Woman’s Highest Calling?
Because marriage and family are integral to our society, I see no lack of articles, blogs, and podcast episodes on the topics of motherhood and parenting. As a teenager and early twenty-
something, I never gave them a thought. Until recently, I would simply shrug, thinking, “That’s not relevant to me yet…maybe in a few years.”
Within the last few months, however, these “mommy blogs” and marriage-related articles have begun to elicit new reactions: a pang in the chest, a churning of the stomach, an indescribable ache of the heart. Of late, when I see publications geared towards mothers, I feel irrationally embarrassed, as if I’ve been caught at Costco without a membership card.
“Where are your children?” nags an accusatory little voice. “You ought to have some by now, Little Miss 26.” Then I’m reminded the LORD says He will extend peace like a river and comfort as a mother comforts her child (Isaiah 66:12-13).
Recently, I read a short story about Christian women describing motherhood as “a woman’s highest calling.”
Quite frankly, I think this is painfully unfair and downright unbiblical, doing an injustice to the many women who, for a multitude of reasons, never had a baby of their own. Are you really telling me those of us who have never given birth have missed our calling?
I beg to differ.
Yes, marriage and motherhood are sacred commitments and should be celebrated as such. To be clear, I don’t think they’re revered highly enough in our egocentric, consumeristic culture, but biblically speaking, they are not the only calling a woman may have.
A Role for All
The Bible affirms the holiness of marriage and motherhood, but it also applauds the invaluable roles of unmarried, widowed, and childless women.
I believe a woman’s highest calling is not marriage or motherhood but faithful obedience to Christ in whatever ministry He gives. Naturally, this may include marriage and motherhood. Most of the central female characters in the Old Testament were wives and mothers. In the New Testament, however, we see a greater mix of married and unmarried women playing key roles in the biblical narrative.
Aside from Mary and Elizabeth, the mothers of Jesus and John the Baptist, most women in the Gospels and the book of Acts are not remembered for their status as wives and mothers but for their roles as evangelicals, apologists, and followers of Christ.
Consider Mary Magdalene, for example. The Bible never mentions whether she
was married or not, but we learn Jesus delivered her from seven demons (Mark 16:9), and, more importantly, she was the first person to see Jesus after His resurrection (John 20:11-18).
In ancient Jewish culture, only men were considered competent witnesses in a court of law. Women were hardly considered persons, let alone legitimate witnesses. But guess who Jesus chose to testify about the most significant event in history?
A woman.
Consider Priscilla from Acts 18. Priscilla and her husband Aquila were Jews who befriended the Apostle Paul during his time in Corinth (verse 1). As tentmakers (verse 3), Priscilla and Aquila were numbered among the “working class” of Corinthian society, but they were knowledgeable about the gospel and partnered with Paul in church planting. The three of them got along so well the couple even accompanied Paul when he left Corinth to preach in Ephesus (verse 18).
After a time, Paul decided to visit Jerusalem while Priscilla and Aquila continued their work in Ephesus (verse 19). During Paul’s absence, a man named Apollos arrived from Alexandria and began speaking boldly in the synagogue (verse 26).
Apollos was a smart cookie. Coming from Alexandria, one of the intellectual capitals of the ancient world, he was an educated man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures (verse 24). He taught about Jesus accurately (verse 25), with one major problem: he only knew about the baptism of John.
In other words, he was a little behind the times. When Priscilla and Aquila heard Apollos speak, they invited him to their home and explained to him the full message of the gospel (verse 26).
Note that order again: Priscilla and Aquila.
The fact Priscilla’s name precedes her husband’s in the original text, and the fact Paul refers to both as co-workers in Christ Jesus (Romans 16:3; 1 Corinthians 16:19; and 2 Timothy 4:19), make it clear Priscilla was equally instrumental in spreading and teaching the gospel.
Did Priscilla have any children?
Scripture never tells us, but we know she had an invaluable role in the formation of the early church, for which she is still remembered today.
God Loves Women
I could write a book on the roles of women in the Bible (and Lord willing, someday I will) but for now, let me share one final example.
In the second half of Luke 2, Luke described Mary and Joseph presenting Jesus in the temple for the first time. While there, the new parents were approached by two strangers: prophets of the Lord patiently awaiting the coming of the Messiah. One was a woman named Anna.
I love Anna.
Luke records that at the time of Jesus’ birth, Anna was very old. She had been married for only seven years before her husband died (verse 36) and then remained a widow until she was eighty-four. Given that girls in ancient Jewish culture were typically married at a young age, it is likely Anna was a widow for fifty to sixty years.
Instead of seeking another spouse, Anna never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying (verse 37).
How was she rewarded for her devotion? She was one of the first people to meet Jesus — a.k.a. God in the flesh, the long-awaited Deliverer who brought redemption to Jerusalem and, ultimately, the world.
No, she did not enjoy a long and prosperous marriage. Nor did she raise a household of children. But God honored her.
God Loves You, My Friend
If you are currently in the throes of motherhood, I applaud you. Marriage and family are beautiful blessings not to be taken for granted. You are doing the Lord’s work.
If, however, you find yourself single longer than you expected, and if your heart yearns for marriage and family, you are not alone. Marriage and family are God-given desires. It is natural and healthy for us to crave these things. But please, my sweet friend, don’t let anyone look down on you because of their absence.
As the ultimate source of satisfaction, God can and will satisfy every longing of our hearts (Isaiah 55), but He often does so in ways and times that don’t make sense to us.
In your waiting, remember this: marriage and motherhood are beautiful callings, but they are not the only roles for which we were created. As women, we have many opportunities to serve and love. We are more than just brides and birthmothers. We are daughters, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends, teachers, coworkers, mentors, and so much more.
Best of all, through Jesus we have been crowned princesses, daughters of God, and co-heirs with Christ (Galatians 4). We are ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20) and members of a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9), and we are called to serve our Lord in marvelous ways.
You, my sister, are a daughter of the King.
About the Writer: Allana Walker is a freelance editor and writing coach from the Canadian East Coast. She is a member of Serenity FWB Church in Fredericton, New Brunswick. Read more at allanawalker.substack.com.
